


A Death

by Moonshoesklaine



Category: Glee
Genre: Blangst, Character Death, Klaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 08:43:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7567648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonshoesklaine/pseuds/Moonshoesklaine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine's dad is dead, so why doesn't he feel sad?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Death

Blaine’s dad was never around when he was a kid. He was always on some kind of business trip, and as a result, Blaine grew up alone.

Well, he wasn’t alone as such. Of course, he had Cooper, and his mom, but when you lived in a four story building with only two other people – both of whom both had more important things to focus on than a game of hide and seek with a small child – it got lonely.

On the rare occasions that his dad was home, Blaine never saw him; a mixture between being sent to his room so his parents could have a “catch up” and being left at home whilst Cooper and his dead went to the batting cages.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Cooper was the favorite son, but Blaine was still his son.

Right?

He found himself thinking about that very question in Glee Club on the Friday. He had received the phone call from his mom that his dad had passed away, and he felt nothing.

He supposed it was something to do with the fact that if he had to pick his dad out from a group of people, he wouldn’t be able to do it – he hadn’t seen him in fourteen months. But it got him thinking; regardless of how crappy their relationship was, wasn’t he supposed to feel something?

He didn’t tell the Glee Club, nor did he tell Mr Schue. If it wasn’t affecting his performance in school, he didn’t see any reason why it was any of their business.

He did tell Kurt though.

Only because when their date night clashed with the date of his funeral, he had to tell him why he wouldn’t be able to make it to the movie they had been waiting to see for months.

Kurt accompanied him to the funeral, the two of them in matching suits. His mother was there, as was Cooper, and both of them looked like they were close to breaking point, but they had been closer to him than he was. 

Still, Blaine felt empty.

He sat in the third row with an expressionless face as those around him cried into cotton hankies they would never use again. The ceremony continued on for a while; longer than he was expecting it to.

His father had made quite a lot of friends over the years.

But still, Blaine couldn’t bring himself to cry.

He had been invited to talk about his father, of course. But he politely declined; what could he possibly say that would make any difference to the fact that he was dead?

He didn’t really know his father, and his father hadn’t known him.

At the burial, they all gathered in one big group, Blaine stayed at the back of the crowd, not wanting to deny his father’s closest friends the opportunity to say goodbye properly.

Kurt squeezed his hand in an attempt to comfort him, but he did not need comforting, because he felt nothing.

In fact, although it pained him to say it, and he felt ashamed of himself, he had been more upset at the death of Pavarotti.

It wasn’t until that evening, after everyone had gone home, that he truly felt something.

He and Kurt decided to pay their respects one last time – alone.

Kurt had never met Blaine’s father, but neither had Blaine really, so that didn’t make the slightest bit of difference at all.

They strolled through the cemetery with their hands swinging to the rhythm of their steps; they moved slowly, not wanting to disrespect any of the bodies they were surrounded by.

Cooper was sat by the grave, arms wrapped around his knees, but he didn’t appear to be upset. He stood up as soon as he saw Blaine and Kurt and in the pale moonlight they could see the twinkle in his eye that showed them he had been crying.

Cooper reached into his pocket and took out an envelope. He handed it to Blaine.

“I knew you’d come here eventually. Dad wanted you to have this.”

He handed it to him and hugged the two of them before he left, leaving them alone.

Blaine frowned as he looked down at the envelope. 

‘Blainers’ was written across the centre of it in blue ink. Huh. So that was what his father’s handwriting looked like.

The nickname made him smile, though; a sad smile. His dad used to call him that when he was young; back when they spent time together.

He opened the envelope carefully as though the contents of it were fragile. 

With shaking hands, he revealed a crisp piece of paper, folded to fit inside the envelope. He handed the envelope to Kurt to read.

“Blainers, I’ll get straight to the point. I’m dying. I only have a few more weeks left, and as much as I want to see you, I can’t spend time with you just to leave you again. That would be cruel. I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you, and there are no excuses, really. I should have been there, but I wasn’t. I let you down. I had to write to you because I needed to make sure you knew just how much I loved you. I didn’t show it enough, because hey! I’m an Anderson, but I always loved you, buddy. I know you’re dating that Kurt kid, because your mother has told me all about him, and he sounds great! Just be careful. Don’t rush into things just because you can. Take your time, enjoy it, because love never goes away, and you need to cherish every moment of it. I always thought that I could afford to be away on business a lot because I would have the rest of my retirement to spend with the people I loved, but I guess some of us don’t always get that far, huh? So I want to give you some fatherly advice. A bit rich, I know, considering I haven’t been there for you, but my advice is this; money isn’t everything. Follow your dreams because you never know how long you’ll get to try and achieve them. If you want to be a singer, then heck! You be the best singer you can be! And if it takes a while to take off, then that doesn’t matter, because I’ve saved up enough money to last you boys and your mother a lifetime. I guess one of my mistakes paid off. I’m not sure how you’re going to be feeling today, but just know that I loved you, and one of my biggest regrets is not telling you in person. I’ve been making you video diaries, ever since my first business trip. They were supposed to be a gift for your 21st, but you might as well have them now. They’re at your mom’s. I say it in every video, and I’ve said it here, but it’s just not the same. Is it? I will always be looking out for you, Blaine Devon Anderson, and if you ever feel alone, or scared, or lost…look up. I’ll be up there, somewhere amongst the stars. I’ll see you soon, kiddo.”

Kurt folded the paper, and slid it into the envelope. He handed it back to Blaine, and for the first time that day, they took a look at the headstone. It read;

Devon James Anderson  
Beloved Father, and Husband.  
Be brave, Blaine.  
Courage

The emptiness he had felt over the past few days disappeared, and his whole body was overcome with emotion. He felt all of them, all at once. He was angry at his dad, for not being there, but he was angry at himself, for not feeling anything when he’d heard. Then, after the anger had gone, he was wracked with guilt for thinking that his dad had never loved him. As he looked down at the headstone, he broke down, the sadness finally setting in. 

Kurt was there to catch him as he sobbed into his chest, the material of their suits all but forgotten. Courage, the one thing he had taken with him through school, had come from his dad. Unknowingly, he must have picked it up, and it had stuck. They stayed like that for another hour or so – fifteen minutes of continuous sobbing, and a further forty-five minutes of talking, Kurt rubbing soothing circles into his back as he continued to go through the stages of grief he had missed when he’d first heard the news.

It was then that he realised;

His dad may not have been a physical presence in his life, but he had always been there for him.

It was just a shame that it had taken his death to make him see that.


End file.
